How Lovely Are Leaders Whose Security is in Christ

For more than four decades, I've observed effective and ineffective leadership.  I believe it is John Maxwell who has said that "everything rises or falls on leadership."  Certainly, for those of us who have ever led anyone else, there have been failings, weaknesses and flaws.  And that is why the good news of Jesus Christ is so good--we can take our failings and sins and yearnings to Him and take on His grace, His gentleness, His boldness, His security.  

The most effective leaders I've ever seen (or followed) are secure in Christ as leaders.  They trust Him with their calling to lead and lean on Him for His strength, His forgiveness, His creativity, His warmth, His love, His encouragement.  The characteristics of insecure leaders and secure leaders are listed below.  Can you think of any others?

Insecure leaders

• are afraid to let others shine
• cannot reach out for help without thinking they will appear weak
• insist on doing things their way to prove that they are leading
• try to manipulate others emotionally or in other ways to follow them
• are needy
• think more about themselves than about those they are serving
• don't realize that Christian leading is serving
• constantly need affirmation
• react publicly and quickly to perceived slights
• surround themselves with "yes"-people
• are hurt or offended when challenged
• can be condescending
• are insecure because they don't trust themselves

Leaders secure in Christ

• desire to see the success of others and praise them publicly for their accomplishments
• consistently ask for help, advice, feed-back and accountability from other leaders and those they lead
• gently articulate to others why a certain way may be best, but give in graciously if there is not consensus
• lead from strength and grace rather than from weakness or manipulation
• rest in Christ's sufficiency for all their needs, releasing others from the obligation to serve them constantly
• pray and think constantly about those given to their charge, looking for ways to build up others in grace
• seek to serve those they lead in ways that are meaningful to those being served
• seek to affirm others in genuine ways with gracious words
• privately pray about perceived slights and engage graciously only the one(s) involved
• appreciate those who offer other ideas or who may graciously disagree with the leader (except when gospel truth is at stake)
• accept a challenge to grow or be flexible when Christ's purposes are being served
• see themselves as servants who love others enough to treat them as they would like to be treated
• are secure because they trust in Christ, who has brought believers into union with Himself

How To Make a Family (Christmas) Tree

Some people want to string up their family during the holidays--I hang mine on the Christmas tree.

Their photos, that is. Old framed photographs of great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and newly framed pics of my children, nieces and nephew, and close family friends tell a story in my music room. The tree presides over our presents and presence in our music room, the lights twinkling through the front window as well as through the french doors that lead into our den. We keep even far-away family close as we spend a month admiring their photos, or laughing at their expressions, or remembering family moments captured on film.

I begin by fighting the tree, subduing it and mastering its unwieldy branches. Then I string the lights (this year I'm short one strand, but I love these lights and can't remember where I got them. Next year I may have to buy new strands.) After the lights comes the beads, which is another battle--they tangle up and sometimes break, but I push through and get them on the tree, with snazzy swags and sloops.

Then I pull out the small tubs of framed photos. This began about 10 years ago when I was putting away old photos to make room around the house for more up-to-date ones. I hated that the older ones seemed to go into a netherworld, where no one appreciated them. So I grabbed some gold string, and began tying loops behind the frame stands. I don't care that the frames don't all match. In fact, I like the fact that this is truly a collection of years of loved ones, in various silver, gold, black and even ceramic frames.

After attaching string or ribbon (ribbon helps hold the heavier frames), I begin strategically placing them on the tree. A very few are 8x10s, and many are 5x7s, 4x5s, 4x6s, and 3x5s, as well as a good number of wallet-sized pics. I don't want the tree to look top heavy, so I place the largest and heaviest around so the tree won't lean! I fill in with smaller photos, and try to evenly represent both my family and my husband's, but most of the photos are of our children.

I add a few favorite colored balls and sit down to listen to my Christmas mix playing through my iPod. I'd like to say that I enjoyed a cup of joe after I finished decorating today, but it was actually some chocolate milk.

What is your favorite ornament on your tree?

A little Thanksgiving gift of joy, laughter and a lesson to pass on to my daughters appeared in my email account today.

My friend Beckie from Tennessee is a hoot--I'm sharing her story here. Enjoy!

Dear Community Bible Study Family, I pray each of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families. Our little family has shrunk to 3 and we are looking forward to our Thanksgiving Feast at Miller's Grocery in Christiana (our 6th annual trip to gastronomical delights!). But I know many of you are hosting large groups of relatives and will be doing a lot of cooking to get ready. Several of you asked about my mom's caramel cake, which I brought to Bible Study on Wednesday. In an effort to "have integrity in small things" I have a confession to make. That was my mother's caramel cake recipe; the icing, however, is another story and very much like an episode of "I Love Lucy." I thought about sharing my story at our Thanksgiving Luncheon but didn't want to take any of our time away from our praise and prayer time, which was so encouraging. However, I need to clear my conscience and want to explain. . . The recipe for the icing is very old, handed down for several generations in my mother's family. My grandmother is the one who made this cake until she went to a nursing home in 1992, then mother began making it. Here is her original recipe: Caramel Icing 2 1/2 c. sugar 1 stick margarine 1/2 pt. whipping cream pinch salt 1 Tablespoon vanilla Place 2 cups sugar, salt, cream in boiler on low heart. Caramelize 1/2 c. sugar in separate boiler until golden brown, then add to other mixture and cook to soft ball stage. Remove from heat and add vanilla and margarine. Beat until creamy and cool. As I got mom's recipe out and looked at it, I realized I had made a BIG mistake by not watching her make this icing and ask her questions about it. "What does 'caramelize sugar' mean? What does 'soft ball stage' mean? I looked both of these terms up on the internet and thought I understood, so I assembled all the ingredients and began. First thing I noticed was how much sugar this icing had in it -- 2 1/2 cups of pure white sugar (or the white death as some of you health conscious girls call it!). I began to have doubts as to whether my Type II Diabetic body could actually enjoy this. But I pressed on in the name of "family heritage." I put the ingredients on low heat and began the task of caramelizing sugar. What a nightmare! I couldn't decide which of the numbers on my stove top was medium heat (on a scale of 1-9 is 5 medium heat??) It did nothing on 4, 5, 6 so I decided to turn it up to 7 and before my very eyes as I was stirring and stirring and stirring, the entire contents of the boiler came together as if it had been magnetized and began to look like peanut brittle. I quickly turned down the heat and marveled as the mass began to crinkle and crack (I could hear it!) and look like a golden brown glacier with fissures and cracks. I could no longer stir anything. It just sat in the boiler and got harder and harder as I watched in horror. I thought about crying, but I was alone in the house and decided the post-cry headache was not something I wanted to contend with, so I just took a deep breath and determined to get something on that cake if it killed me! But determination was sidetracked by emotion and deep regret. Now comes the hardest part of this story. Why, oh why, did I NOT stand over mother's shoulders and watch her make this. Why didn't I ask her for tips and clarification of those terms which were such mystery to me. Let this be a lesson for each of you. If you have any special family recipes, do not depend on your own wits, ask questions, make sure you understand the recipe, and watch it being made so you will know what you are dealing with BEFORE your relatives leave earth! I could hear my mother saying to me many times, "You'd better get over here to the stove and watch me make this; it will be your turn to make this cake one day!" Alas, why didn't I quickly obey? Back to the story -- well, I had NO white sugar left. I had used all I had. But I began thinking. I believe this recipe was made up BEFORE dark brown sugar was available. That was what my grandmother was doing "caramelizing sugar" so I immediately went to the computer and began looking up caramel icing recipes made with dark brown sugar, which I did have in my cupboard. Fortunately, I found Paula Deen's son, Bobby Deen's Caramel Frosting recipe and I had the ingredients in the pantry. I whipped it up and to my great delight it tasted very much like my mothers/grandmothers -- only healthier because it didn't have as much sugar. So, this is what you actually ate on the cake on Wednesday: Bobby Deen's Caramel Frosting 1 stick of butter 1 c. dark brown sugar (packed) 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream Melt these ingredients together and bring to boil. Then pour into mixing bowl. Add one 16 oz. box confectioner's sugar (about 1/2 cup at a time) and 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract and using a mixer beat up the icing. If the mixture gets too dry, add more heavy whipping cream. (I ended up using the entire 1/2 pint of whipping cream). Punch holes in cake (which is just a Duncan Hines yellow butter cake mix) and top with icing. Let it set up overnight before cutting if it is runny. So there you have it. My conscience is clear. And truth be known if and when I make this cake again (and I will make it for Christmas when my sister and her family come), I will most likely use Bobby Deen's recipe. When the recipe for caramel icing gets handed down to my children, it will be Bobby Deen's. I hope my mother and grandmother are not too disappointed in me. If they could taste this icing, I think they would agree with me. It tastes very good and isn't that what all this is about anyway????? Happy cooking, happy eating and happy thanksgiving! May God be glorified in all our hearts and praised at each of our tables next Thursday. Love you all, Beckie P. S. I could not get the glacier out of the pan and ended up throwing the pan out with it!

What family recipe do you wish had learned when you had the opportunity? What Thanksgiving recipe does your family request each year? Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Heartcry of a Pilgrim...

from THE VALLEY OF VISION

p. 78

THOU GOD OF ALL GRACE,

Thou hast given me a Saviour,

produce in me a faith to live by him,

to make him all my desire,

all my hope,

all my glory.

May I enter him as my refuge,

build on him as my foundation,

walk in him as my way,

follow him as my guide,

conform to him as my example,

receive his instructions as my prophet,

rely on his intercession as my high priest,

obey him as my king.

May I never be ashamed of him or his words,

but joyfully bear his reproach,

never displease him by unholy or imprudent conduct,

never count it a glory if I take it patiently when buffeted for a fault,

never make the multitude my model,

never delay when they Word invites me to advance.

May thy dear Son preserve me from this present evil world,

so that its smiles never allure,

nor its frowns terrify,

nor its vices defile,

nor its errors delude me.

May I feel that I am a stranger and a pilgrim on earth,

declaring plainly that I seek a country,

my title to it becoming daily more clear,

my meetness for it more perfect,

my foretastes of it more abundant;

and whatsoever I do may it be done in the Saviour's name.